After this week of rioting and (to be southern about it) unpleasantness, I have watched the smugness of my liberal friends waft from their social media posts with a combination of sadness and, although I hate to admit it, glee. Most of my QAnon friends have either fallen silent or been cranky.

But because I was raised Lower Middle Class, I have a metric shit ton of friends more in the conservative middle. Although I’m very liberal, of the Teach a Blind Dog to Read variety (all credit to my conservative childhood friend Anne for helping me with that one) I never discount the opinions of my conservative Ohio friends. 

Sometimes those opinions deserve a counter-point like this post incorrectly attributed to conservative host Dave Ramsey that was shared by a few of my conservatibe middle friends. The writer is so far anonymous but their words are in italics and mine are in bold. 

Dave Ramsey:

“This morning, I realized that everything is about to change. No matter how I vote, no matter what I say, lives are never going to be the same.

Things always change, Dave.  That’s the Age of Aquarius for ya!

I have been confused by the hostility of family and friends. I look at people I have known all my life so hate-filled that they agree with opinions they would never express as their own. I think that I may well have entered the Twilight Zone.

If I express an opinion that is not my own, can it really be called an opinion? In any event, I think “Jews will not replace us” was pretty clear. The real issue we are grappling with are facts. You’re entitled to your own opinion, and the facts…well that’s where we seem to be at an impasse.

You can’t justify this insanity. We have become a nation that has lost its collective mind.

I agree with the insanity part. I can’t tell you who has lost what mind. Some of our minds were pretty lost  to begin with. 

We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, but it seems like a great plan to us.

You know what sounds like socialism to me? The United States military and private insurance coverage. How about Public education and the highway system? We can throw some public private partnerships in there like Infrastructure investments in Haiti and other developing nations. I’m not a fan of PPP’s but I can compromise for good infrastructure.

Somehow it’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

The census is a count of the population. I know, some people would like for the Census to be conducted with ICE raids but we count heads in this country, even the “bad” ones.

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People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

Damn skippy we are! It’s called “taxation without representation” and me, Washington DC and Puerto Rico are pretty sick of it! In all seriousness, gender is a social construct. Why does that bother you? You sound like a second wave feminist now who claim that only individuals born with a uterus can be women. Get over your penis, man. 

Universities that advocate equality, discriminate against Asian-Americans in favor of African-Americans.

I assume that you’re speaking about Harvard? The hallowed halls of elite ivy league schools can seriously suck a bag of dicks (I know halls can’t do that). I tried to read Daniel Golden’s book The Price of Admission and it just made me drink more. Quit defending these elitist wannabes. Look at the Kardashians, most of them barely graduated from High School and they are the American aristocracy. Harvard’s endowment is $49 B. Fuck Harvard.

Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

I’m going out on a limb and assume that you’re NOT a black man. 

Criminals are caught-and-released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it’s a violation of THEIR rights.

Although you wouldn’t have thought so by looking at Guantanamo Bay, prisoners held by the United States of America have rights. That’s why we’re not Isis. 

People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

Sure would be great if we could live in a country that wasn’t built by slavery. But we do. All Americans, black and white and everyone else lives with the consequences of this.

After legislating gender, if a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

No you’re not, crybaby. It would be cooler if you did, though. 

It was cool for Joe Biden to “blackmail” the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquiries about it.

Remember what Bill Clinton was impeached over? BTW, $5 to this guy (and I’m pretty sure a guy wrote this humorless post) if he already knew in what continent Ukraine is located.  

People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for their degrees.

No one should have to pay so much for college or job training! And NO ONE should have to join the US Military to get an education. 

Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

You get the poor, tired, huddled masses that you get, not the ones that you want. 

Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate to the US must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate gang-bangers who jump the southern fence are welcomed.

Irish doctors? Hugh Laurie is English, you dingbat!  And House was a fictional show on the tee vee. Seriously, we need all of the doctors that we can get. Maybe at your next visit with Dr. Patel, you can ask her how long her medical school education was in her native India and how much it costs her. 

$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care is not.

Taking care of 328 million people costs more than a wall. Go figure.

If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

I can’t believe anyone would defend rich parents who paid $25 million to cheat for their talentless sprog for admission to elite’ish schools. And those anchor babies you want to deny rights to are American citizens. I thought you didn’t think people should pay for the sins of their Fathers and Mothers? 

And, pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us “racists”!

You only get called a racist when you say racist stuff which, by the way, makes you a racist.  I had an ethics professor who would yell at our class “when you tell a lie, you are a liar!” God I loved that class. 

Nothing makes sense anymore, no values, no morals, no civility and people are dying of a Chinese virus, but it is racist to refer to it as Chinese even though it began in China.

I know they called the Spanish Flu the SPANISH flu. I also used to eat pancakes at a restaurant called SAMBOS. Shit changes, it’s going to be ok. 

We are clearly living in an upside-down world where right is wrong and wrong is right, where moral is immoral and immoral is moral, where good is evil and evil is good, where killing murderers is wrong, but killing innocent babies is right.

Going back to my Ethics prof, it’s confusing because you’re CONFUSED! I agree with some of your statements that it is evil to kill murders. Two wrongs never make a right. And as far as abortion goes, don’t like abortion, don’t have one. Let the women making that truly horrible decision work it out with their God and be a loving person and forgive them (in the words of the fabulous late Bill Hicks) . I donate every month to Planned Parenthood because they provide valuable health services to women that they should be able to get at their OBGYN’s office. But thanks to (mostly men) with a lot of time on their hands, women have to go to bomb proof cinder block buildings to get abortions. 

Wake up America. The great unsinkable ship Titanic America has hit an iceberg, is taking on water and sinking fast.”

Dude, we can’t hit an iceberg because of the hardon global businesses have for plastic shit, all of the icebergs are GONE! Is that why so many conservatives hate the environment…because they think that the USS Titanic America is going to hit an iceberg?! It would actually explain a lot. 

Copied and pasted. I suggest you do the same!